Sunday, November 17, 2019


Life has been...a whirlwind.

It's so strange to me, how I set out into this school year with more direction and focus than I've maybe ever had, and so much life decided to happen. Things really picked up speed with that house situation, naturally, but then they didn't slow down. We had a long, strange streak of things happening with our current house (things breaking and leaking and needing immediate repairs), a birthday and a holiday (Halloween, of course), and then a revolving door of illnesses.

And now somehow it's the holiday season (basically), and I feel.....unprepared, behind, and overwhelmed.

I'm not here to complain or regret, just kind of share how "lifey" this season has been for me, and in my opinion, it's all part of the process. It's a strange thing - feeling like you have a path and seeing what you want, and then having life stepping in to say, "actually....hang on." Why is that, actually?

I mean, check this out, for instance.

Oct 21st: Front yard is totally dug up to have expensive new drainage pipe installed.
Oct 22nd: Busy day of school store volunteering, yoga, and grocery shopping.
Oct 23rd: Busy day of errands and volunteering at school. Jake comes home saying his throat hurts. Dryer breaks.
Oct 24th: Cancel library volunteering to care for sick kid, make him a dr. appt for the afternoon and find out he has strep (for the 2nd time in 5 weeks). Get him on meds.
Oct 25th: Jake's birthday. Yes, while he has strep. Get him pumped full of meds, make the best of his birthday, take him for a birthday dinner he insisted he was still up for.
Oct 26th: Oven breaks 2 hours before Jake's party while baking cupcakes for said party. Host Jake's friend party at a bounce house/arcade venue (with ice cream cake we had to buy on the way). Entertain new moms, monitor newly recovered kid and other kids.
Oct 27th: Attempt to do all the cleaning possible for further work being done on the house this week. Enjoy zero relaxing.
Oct 28th: Spend the entire damn day sorting, clipping, and prepping Box Tops for the PTA.
Oct 29th: Construction crew shows up, works on a room in my basement all day while I attempt to get other things done and still have a good day.
Oct 30th: Insane last minute before Halloween errand running, house cleaning, costume repairing, etc. Take middle kid to doctor for hearing/ear pressure issue and find that his ear drum is bulging out of his ear canal. Get meds for him.
Oct 31st: Literally all day (from about 5am to 9pm) intense mom duty including: packing fun Halloween lunches, getting semi-dressed up, helping Kindergartners get in costume, walking the elementary school parade, helping run the Kindy party, rushing off to 3rd grade and attending that party, take ear-issue kid home to rest, pre-make homemade pizza crust for dinner, then head to middle school and attend 5th grade party, come home to make dinner and pack up, then take the whole fam to friend's house and trick or treat in the pouring rain, bring home and deal with all soaked 5 of us and our crap, pass out.
Nov 1st: Intensely clean house and pack for all 5 of us for a weekend trip away. Literally work all day long before hitting the road around dinner time.
Nov 2nd: Actually have a great day out of town. Here it is! My one shiny, happy day.
Nov 3rd: Pack and clean all morning in a rush to come home. Get home and unpack and clean and prepare for another crazy week.
Nov 4th: Spend time cleaning my room and dealing with clutter, repairing bedding, realizing that I feel a little sluggish and slow, needing more breaks than necessary...feeling suspicious. Photo above taken this day.
Nov 5th: Early morning school store shift, vote, yoga, stop at home because I feel off........fall into bed and start sliding down hill rapidly. Flu begins.
Nov 6th: FLU
Nov 7th: FLU
Nov 8th: FLU
Nov 9th: FLU
Nov 10th: Flu? Plus a snowstorm.
Nov 11th: Seriously, flu? Also it's 100-year record breakingly cold out.
Nov 12th: Hmm, bronchitis?
Nov 13th: Probably bronchitis.
Nov 14th: Definitely bronchitis. Doctor, drugs.
Nov 15th: Slowwww recovery, drugs. First day without a fever since the 5th.
Nov 16th: First time out of the house and feeling okay being upright in 10 days.

That's what life has been like. And that doesn't even include the entire month before that - that contained the crazy house crap and the adjusting to new schools crap and the trying to find a "all my kids are in school full time now" rhythm while volunteering nearly constantly and trying to make an honest effort with writing.

How does this much LIFE happen?

It's just been....a lot. A lot of rushing, a lot of effort, a lot of failed attempts at a clean house, a lot of outgoing money, a lot of days feeling really, really, really bad.

I'm trying SO HARD to perk up. It's just that now, I have a neglected, messy house from being sick for so long, I'm being poked for gift ideas for the boys, attempting to make Black Friday plans for myself (I mean the shopping starts in what, 10 days?!), finalizing Thanksgiving plans and making shopping lists with my family, scheduling out when the tree is going up and who's watching the kids during parent teacher conferences, and the merry-go-round just keeps going.

How do you slow down, be present, live intentionally....when life demands so much of you ALL of the time?

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