Writerly Ruminating

 

NaNoWriMo 2022

I cycled through three possible projects before I settled on the one I'm working with now. It's a concurrent sequel to the book I wrote last year, and I have such a complicated mix of feelings towards it. The story is unfolding well because I've been in this world with some of these characters for so long and I know their universe. But I'm not nearly as connected to the main characters in this book as I was to the ones in the last book. I also keep getting hung up in editing mode because I've been polishing up their world for so many months that some days I can't let things flow. And yet, despite this project feeling harder and less energized, I suspect the quality of my work is better. It's so confusing. I'm keeping pace (13,434 words in 8 days at the time I'm writing this, and 35.7k for the total manuscript), but without my weekend morning hyperfocusing, I wouldn't be there. The chaos of the weekdays has been debilitating for my creativity. Hanging in there, though. 

Mood Pitch

I had no idea what this was until literally the day before it happened. In fact, I pretty much counted myself out because I was discovering it so late in the game. The cliff notes version is that writers create a small mood board or collage along with a wildly concise premise of their book so that literary agents can scroll through pitches quickly. There are official agents that participate in Mood Pitch, but lots and lots of others that join in to see what's out there. If your post gets liked by an agent, it means they are intrigued by your pitch and want you to query them. (More on that below.) So on Mood Pitch day, I was taking a break from my WIP and doing some scrolling. I was seeing all of these awesome pitches and thinking, okay, I might be late to the game but I could totally do this. It was maybe noon at this point, and Mood Pitch was only running from 8am-8pm. I decided to whip up a quick collage for my book and see if I didn't hate it. (I didn't.) So then I attempted to write a teeny tiny synopsis and got frustrated. I took a shower instead, and somehow several options came to me while shampooing my hair. I tapped them out in my notes app before I even dried off. Once I was dressed and able to edit my shower inspirations, I tossed it out to the internet thinking, hey this was fun practice for the next round. Most pitches don't get any likes. And then...minutes later, an agent liked it. My eyes have never bulged so much. For the rest of the day, I was revising my query letter and reformatting my manuscript and basically losing my mind, and before bed, my first official query was off into the world and in the hands of industry professionals. I realize it will probably amount to nothing, but it was a huge milestone, and I will never forget that day. 

Am Querying

So, like....I planned on procrastinating the shit out of this step in my writing journey. I was still kind of chipping away at the process, but mostly focusing in on NaNoWriMo and letting last year's book take a big old back seat. But when Mood Pitch went the way it did (and I also saw several agents saying they were collecting their last queries of the year before the week of Thanksgiving), I decided to just give it a little bit of extra attention. I did some agent research, started beefing up my query spreadsheet, and contacted several more after writing each of them personalized query letters. If you are unfamiliar with the writing process, writers approach agents with something called a query letter that introduces them to your book (including genre, word count, synopsis, tropes if any, etc.), lets them know who you are, and requests that they consider taking you on as a client. Each agent will ask for a sample of your manuscript, and they all want something different. It can be as little as a synopsis or your first page, or as big as the entire thing, and anywhere in between. (5 pages, 10 pages, 3 chapters...literally every single one is different.) There's a lot of work that goes into finding agents that you think would fit both you and your book, and then making sure you cater to their requests. I spent a whole day on just querying three agents. And when you do this, you're contacting each of them unsolicited, so the exciting thing about Mood Pitch is that you're basically skipping the slush pile by having an agent say "yeah I wouldn't toss this". So, anyway, this is time consuming AF and also freaking terrifying because it means pros are reading your work and could very well tell you it's trash.

Dreams

Yes, this is all a dream come true, but I'm also literally dreaming about all of this. Even when I'm sleeping, I'm revising little details of my query letter, thinking of a detail I wish I'd added to my manuscript, coming up with a new scene for my NaNoWriMo WIP. It's madness. I literally never set it down. I will, once November ends - in fact I'm declaring a general writing break for the month of December so that I can actually survive the holidays and not entirely burn out the language center of my brain until there's nothing left but smoldering ashes. But for now? It's all writing all day, baby. I can't even describe how tired my mind is at the end of each day. I can't wait to zone out to Hallmark movies in a few more weeks - phew.

20 for 2020

* * This post was originally created and formatted for www.enrychment.com & has been cross-posted. See the original post, here.

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Hey, new year.

I can't help but get caught up in the freshness of you. Last year I finally learned that it's cool to take it easy in Winter and follow my natural inclinations to hibernate. So I hesitate to over-commit myself or dive in too quickly. But I am looking forward to some....focus, newness, self-care.

So I made a list for 2020 - 20 things I'd love to knock out or get in the habit of this year.

I thought about elaborating on my choices, but nah. No one cares to read that. Maybe when I get around to crossing them off I'll share what the deal was. For now, I'm digging concise.


1. Finish subbing paperwork.
2. Pay off Nordstrom card before July.
3. Get current with podcasts.
4. Create a budget + overhaul my spending habits. (I did this in January and that was that.)
5. Read 25 books from my shelves. (32/25)
6. Plan + execute research for my writing project.
7. Convince my legs to be flexible.
8. Update kitchen, modern farmhouse style.
9. Get clear on blogging + commit.
10. Make a book club happen, damn it. (sort of - we had a good few months, lol)
11. Eat more slowly + mindfully.
12. Create a journaling habit - details TBD.
13. Sub enough times to pay off finger printing.
14. Get smart + proactive about groceries and meals (waste less food + money!)
15. Be more datey + romantic in honor of 16 years (and a leap date dateaversary) including weekly date nights.
16. Work on my culturization list at least once a week. (list here)
17. Find a lip color of some kind (any kind) that I feel comfortable in.
18. Pay off library fines + don’t let them build up past $5 all year.
19. Read + study A Course In Miracles.
20. Clean up immediately after dinner every night.

If you've got a 20 for 2020 list, let me know - I love to get inspired by others' ambition.

Happiest of New Years to you! xo

My Writing Year Commandments

The longer I'm on this journey, the more apparent it will become that Gretchen Rubin serves as a personal development guru in my life. She doesn't know that, of course. It's just that through her books and podcast I've admired her dedication to challenging herself to do more, to do better, and to seek happiness in everyday life. Her ideas and methods have inspired me greatly over the years.

This whole journey is kind of a Happiness Project in itself (a personal development strategy she came up with) with the way I've organized it. So you'll find that I employ her methods often.

One of the things she did while organizing her first Happiness Project was to create a list of commandments to guide her as she worked through her goals. As I journaled about my writing year, I noticed that I was naturally sketching out rules for myself, and I realized that I should probably have some set guiding principles before I begin so that I never veer too far from my purpose.

And this is what I came up with.

1. Be Jenn.
2. This is a job, remember to treat it like one.
3. Set the mood + shut out distraction.
4. Stop to take care of yourself.
5. Stay annoyingly organized.
6. Be mom first. (Second only to Jenn.)
7. In writing: bravery + honesty first, creativity second, quality third.
8. Vibrations matter. High vibe people do high vibe work.
9. The only way through it is through it.
10. You already know the answer.
11. There will always be a weight until you do it.

This list will go with me everywhere. It's copied into my planner. It's written in my little quote notebook that travels around with me. I'm going to place it in the sidebar of this blog next. And from all of these repeated locations, it will guide me through the next 12 months of hard work and dedication.

That's the concise version, and maybe all that you're interested in. For the sake of remembering "my why", and in case you are curious, though...here's what each of my commandments mean to me.

1. Be Jenn.
This one is a straight rip-off from Gretchen, and over the years many people have taken her first commandment on as their own. It felt like a nice dedication - but also an extremely important reminder to not be afraid of being who I really am. I'm the only one that can offer the world what I have to offer, and for someone somewhere - that is a gift. I'm not as religious as I once was, yet it still moves me when I hear that it's an insult to God when we don't see our talents through because He expects us to use them. As Florence Scovell Shinn says in her book The Law of Destiny and How to Find It, "There is a terrible penalty to be paid for not using one's ability."

2. This is a job, remember to treat it like one.
One of my failings with writing and blogging and any other side-job that has something to do with those things is that I've never dedicated enough time, attention, or seriousness to the endeavor. I've never said, "these are my work hours, this is what is getting done, and nothing will stand in my way." I want to be flexible with my hours and my scheduling, but I want there to be enough planning and dedication that it feels like the same level of respect I'd give to a job that I'd interviewed to get and have someone to report to.

3. Set the mood + shut out distraction.
I'm very bad at letting phone dings and social media badges pull me away from a task at hand. I'm going to make sure my workspaces are clean, my phone is face down, and the mood is set (if I'm working at home). I think it would be a good idea to give my husband a clear way to contact me during my work hours, too, so that I know should only break in those instances. Or maybe a specific ring tone that I assign only to calls from him or from the school so I only look at my phone if I hear that ring tone.

4. Stop to take care of yourself.
I'm bad at this. I'm a Manifesting Generator, so when I settle on a task I tend to get "in the zone" so deep that I forget to stop and eat meals, drink water, or get up and stretch every now and then. I'm going to try and make a note on my work plans for quick stretches and glass refills, and always stick to my scheduled lunch time.

5. Stay annoyingly organized.
I enjoy the process of organizing, but I'm really bad at maintaining things once I've organized them. Some examples of this are: forgetting to use my planner daily after buying a pretty new one,  not updating my blog calendar when post plans change, tossing things in drawers sloppily instead of putting them in the areas I've set up. I'm striving to be relentless about organization this year - both in my writing goals and around the house. If my home life is in order, it will help me keep my goals in order. Keep the pantry organized. Clear out the fridge. Update blog tabs. Use that pretty planner all day every day.

6. Be mom first. (Second only to Jenn.)
No matter what other jobs I take on in life - personal, paid, volunteer - the most important job I do in this life is raising my kids. I haven't worked full time since I've become a mom so that I could be the one to spend their days with them and to be involved in their school lives, and that comes before everything else until they're off on their own. Some days, life will ask me to be super-hands-on-mom to one (or all) of them instead of what I had planned for that day, and there should be no guilt or regret in that.

7. In writing: bravery + honesty first, creativity second, quality third.
A psychic once told me that if I speak honestly from my heart, it won't matter how "right" I am. We were discussing my writing and blogging dreams and I told her that a fear of sounding too authoritative held me back from being too brave or public because "Who am I to say things?" She encouraged me (both from herself and from spirit) and said that the most important thing is that I say things, not specifically what those things are. After brave honesty, to me, comes creativity. Wrapping things in beautiful or unexpected packages is the artistry I've always admired in writing. And while grammar and "correctness" are important when you're trying to publish something, if I focus on it too much I'll never get the messages out. It's more important that I form them into something worth correcting later on.

8. Vibrations matter. High vibe people do high vibe work.
If there's anything I've learned through my spiritual journey, it's that high vibrations produce the best results. A coach I follow on Instagram, Andrea Crowder always says (via one of her businesses), "Women who feel good, do good." Sometimes that will mean stopping to raise my vibes and feel good about ME and MY day before I can produce any worthy work.

9. The only way through it is through it.
I said this to my friend recently when she was going through a breakup, and she mentioned that it had become kind of a mantra for her. I realized that it could be applied to many things - refinishing a room, weight loss, writing a book. Sometimes you just have to dive in and get through it.


10. You already know the answer.
This one....is important. I have an emotional authority (Human Design lingo), which means that I feel an answer to all of life's questions in my body. Very often, I let my ego run away with fears and anxieties and I talk myself out of things or redirect to something safer. But often, when I just can't make something work and I ask myself why, I already know why...I'm just trying to ignore it. So this is a reminder to face things, to do them anyway (despite fear), and to not second (and third and fourth) guess a decision, because the truth is - I already know. (I ripped the page above out of a beautiful book and hung it on the wall of my office as a reminder.)

11. There will always be a weight until you do it.
Remember that psychic I mentioned up there? She said this one to me. She'd also said some version of "you already know the answer" when I asked her to pass along spiritual guidance about what I'm supposed to do with my life. She told me that the spirits around me (specifically my late Grandma) want me to know that I already know what to do and that until I finally do it, I will carry a weight around with me. And that is the whole point of this journey...to finally do it, to drop the weight, and to follow my heart.

One thing you might notice about my list vs Gretchen's is that I stopped at 11 and she has 12. Eleven is a powerful, spiritual angel number (as is 111 and 1111) representing an invitation to cross a new threshold and step into an open door. Two 1's together almost look like a doorway or a gateway themselves. It can also be seen as a sign from your guides that you are on the right path, and to intentionally step forward is to accept an invitation and continue on your way.

And maybe you'll find that a little bit odd or superstitious of me, but I always believe that when you work with your guides (and their little hints like number combinations, pennies left in your path, symbols strewn throughout your days), you'll always be more successful. Take a look at the times my posts publish or how often 3's and 5's work their way into my life. ;)

I'm Published In A Book!

* * This post was originally created and formatted for www.enrychment.com & has been cross-posted.
See the original post, here.

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Something you may or may not know about me is that my big-scary-dream in this life is to be a published author.

Not because I have anything wildly profound to say, or because I think of myself as particularly talented, but because I enjoy the process of writing, the intricate nature and beauty of words, and the enduring qualities of a book. The lasting legacy of a name in print.

Through the years, I have gone back and forth with my feelings on writing - what form it should take, what genre I want to play with, my ability to sell myself and be personable, and a million other insecurities and doubts. And I still don't really understand what it will ever amount to, if anything.

But a really cool thing has happened.


In May of last year, a friend put out a call for people that had stories of religious miracles or faith-in-action to tell. I raised my hand (figuratively speaking), and shortly after, her mother in law (Lorene) emailed me to chat about it. I told her my two stories and we discussed them for a bit, and that in itself was a rewarding experience. It was fun to share those stories with someone and to have them appreciated in return. Shortly after, she let me know that she would be including the stories in a book she was writing, and as a thank you for contributing, the publisher would send me a copy when it was finished.

Here's where it gets a little crazy.

One of the stories was about using a St. Joseph statue to help sell our Charlotte house. This particular practice is done by many Catholics - it's one of those "things" that we just heard we should do growing up and that St. Joseph was the patron saint of real estate, and what was the harm in trying? The same week I submitted this story to Lorene, my husband was working hard on a big landscaping project in our front yard. While tilling the dirt, he unearthed a St. Joseph statue! It must have been used and left behind by one of the previous owners. The timing was wild and fitting (considering we'd already lived here for 6 years and didn't find it until the very week I told my story!) and I rushed to email Lorene and let her know of this extra confirmation of faith. She told me that it made her day, and it capped off the whole experience with a sense of rightness.

For MY actual St. Joseph story (which had its own set of interesting shows of confirmation), you'll have to read the book. Because what kind of author would I be to give away the plot? Kidding....I have no claim or rights or even royalties from my stories, but I certainly want to help share this book with the world!


A week or so ago, around the time when black friday packages were rolling in, there was an interesting envelope addressed to me with a return address from a publisher. I was so confused (just not having this book on my mind at the time), but as soon as I pulled the book out, I knew exactly what it was. I opened it randomly to just page through it quickly - and it opened directly to one of MY stories! How crazy is that?? I stood in my kitchen, looking down at my own name and my own words, printed on the page of a book. An actual BOOK - with pages and a cover and a search result on Amazon and Barnes & Noble. MY NAME! IN A BOOK!

I hurried to tell my mom and my grandma, feeling as though they'd appreciate it the most (mostly because of the content of my stories.) I snapped a picture of my name on the page and I posted it to Instagram and Facebook, squealing about what that moment felt like.

And in the middle of making dinner and the evening rush, I found myself with a quiet moment alone in the kitchen with nothing but the book....and despite it not being MY book, I hugged it and thanked the universe for that moment. It inspired me to go in search of many more (and even bigger) moments like it, but also in wild appreciation for that moment itself. If I never get another one like it, I got to taste my dream - just a little bit.

I have yet to read the book...I can't even bring myself to read my own stories. I haven't gotten passed reading my own name, haha. But maybe the most rewarding part of it all? When Luke asked me if he could read my stories, and watching the smile of pride and awe in seeing his mom's name printed in a book. I sat next to him while he read through my story, and when he was finished, he was amazed by it. He asked me questions about patron saints and what it was like to have a prayer answered like that. It makes me want to write 100 books so I can see that look on his face over and over again. Books that are full of MY words, instead of just 4 or 5 pages of them.


This experience - the whole thing - start to finish - has felt like intense guidance and reminders of myself. The process over the last year and a half was so quiet, and so in the background and simple, that I hardly noticed how important it was to me. But all of it, every step, was dripping with rightness and faith and purpose.

And before I come off sounding overly religious or devout, I feel like it would be dishonest to let you go on believing that I am an intensely practicing Catholic. Yes, I made all of my sacraments to date, I went to a Catholic private school growing up, and I had my children baptized. But over the years, my spirituality has grown and evolved, and I put less stock in dogma, and much more in love, kindness, forgiveness, equality, and intention. And so now, to me, God/Jesus/Infinite Spirit/The Universe/Spirit Guides/Light/Prana/Chi are all words and ingredients of the same thing. It's okay if you disagree, but to me it is all a part of an overall sameness.

To me, whether you ask a patron saint or the universe to bring you your heart's desires, if you have good intentions and blind faith in whoever or whatever you're asking, you'll receive them. I know that there have been many micro-miracles in my life that have happened by tapping into this source of life and love, and having two of them immortalized in print is something I will treasure for as long as I live.

Here's to chasing dreams, being true to yourself, and being thankful for every minuscule miracle.
xo

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If you'd like to purchase the book, I'd adore it if you'd grab your copy from Amazon (HERE) using my affiliate link. Though my return on this book has already arrived, in the form of inspiration and purpose, it would mean the world to me to see it landing in the hands of interested readers!

As stated, this post contains affiliate links! Thank you to the ends of the earth for supporting my blog! xo

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