Monday, June 1, 2020

Pt. 25 - One More Month of School.

DAY 59 - May 12th, 2020

     The boys all slept in Jake's bed last night, and shortly after 4am, Jake woke me up because he lost his spot in the bed after getting up to go to the bathroom. I had to get up and sort them all out, and I fell back asleep pretty quickly after, but I'm so tired today. Hoping to snap out of it soon, because we actually have sunshine after endless days of grey, and I want to do some "extras" today. Like bake sourdough and start switching my spring/summer wardrobe to my closet. It looks like today is the last cold day (the high is only 47), and then we slowly creep up towards the 70's. I can't wait! Better weather will be so good for all of us! And we've been waiting for it for so long. Hopefully I'll even be able to do my morning journaling from my swing, soon.

     I think I forgot to mention that the last day of school was moved up two weeks. I was hoping it would be moved up by 3 or 4, but I'll take it! That means that the last day of school is only a month from today - June 12th - and while I'm glad for that because of what it means for our household, I'm still sad that it will end without a super fun day or class picnics or a graduation for Jake. Those are always priceless memories for all of us - the highlight reel of the school experience. I'd much rather be home and safe, but it still makes me sad. I worry that the boys are so numbed by screens that they don't care to mourn what they've lost. They're so easily placated by "more time for video games!" We've set limits (no screens Tues/Thurs, and a 2pm start time on MWF), but it's still always the thing they're working towards. I'm grateful that they have ways to be social safely, and in some way, challenge themselves in fun and creative ways. But man, what I would have done with this time as a kid! Lynne and I probably would have built a posterboard mansion - maybe a whole town! We would have had a running pretend story that we'd pick back up as soon as we were allowed outside each day. We would have eaten too many chicken finger subs and watched the same movie 100 times and curled our hair, made up stupid songs, and painted any surface we had access to. Of course, I had an across the street friend to play with, and we'd probably either isolate in tandem somehow, or we wouldn't have taken social distancing seriously enough because it was the 90's. And because back then we could trust our leaders to do a good job on our behalf. I'm thankful my boys have each other, and they do create and play pretend and laugh and get silly, but they're also always racing to meet their friends on Fortnite or Mario Kart or Animal Crossing. I want them to have that - if that's where al their friends are I don't want them to miss out. But I wish it wasn't top priority. And I hope they're not suppressing their fears and feelings with it.

     Anyway, because the end of the year is looming, I've been trying to communicate with the kids' teachers about what they need, how they're doing, and what I hope for with next year's placements. I get nervous and feel a little meh about it, but I wish their teachers were more open to chatting. I know all parents want to talk about their kids all day and teachers have a lot of them to juggle, but this is all such uncharted territory and I want to make sure I'm doing right by my guys. I still feel weird bugging them, though, as their responses tend to be a bit noncommittal. I try really hard not to annoy/impose on them, but it's hard when you're also trying to advocate for your kids.

     The new routine we started yesterday worked really well for us. Not perfect, but better for sure - for now. I'm trying to keep in mind that the right flower for us can change in only a matter of weeks despite there not being much change overall.

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